I have had a couple of questions about my use of clitoral stimulation as coping mechanism during labor. While it is a coping mechanism, for me it’s much more than that. To me labor and birth are the collimation of sex – it’s the ultimate outcome of sex. You are, through your body, giving independent life to a child created by an act of love – sex that is. To me labor and birth are incredibly sexual events. Clitoral stimulation is only natural – it’s the way for your body to release the tension of labor in a most natural, beautiful, and enjoyable way.
I used clitoral stimulation during each of my three homebirths. During the last one I think I has about 6 orgasms. So how did I do it? Well, I either pleasured myself, or (the better way!) either my husband or my midwife “assisted”.
When I pleasured myself, I pictured my body opening up. I thought of the baby forcing me open and stretching me wide. I pictured the baby passing through my vagina – my birth canal – and stretching my labia in a painfully but oh so pleasurable burn. I rubbed my clit, and as I realized that soon I would be giving birth. The orgasms were amazing.
Even better, though, was my husband or my midwife stimulating me. I would lay back, with my eyes closed, and experience the sensations. This was part of the labor process – the people closest to me helping me relax and open my body. These were the best orgasms. During my last homebirth (the twins) my husband was wearing a pair of gym shorts (I was naked) and I could see his erection as he rubbed my clit. OMG I wanted to fuck him right then! The ones by my midwife were even more intense than the ones by my husband. I loved her touch. There is something taboo, even ethically questionable, about he touch at the time but to me it was pure beauty. Yes, I had been intimate with her before the labors but this was different. The raw sexuality of her touch match with the pure sexuality of labor. I am getting myself so wet right now just thinking of it. MMMM.
Of course clitoral stimulation during labor may not be for everyone. It’s almost impossible or at least difficult to do during a hospital birth because of the lack of privacy. However, another good method (that you can do at the hospital) is simple kissing and touching. Human touch and affection are so calming during labor, and really make for better birth experience.So open your mind, explore your body, and enjoy your birth!